My mother, Marjorie Winifred Heffer, nee Barnett, was a strong and determined woman with a distinct zest for life. She never confided much to me of her childhood, except that there was no money in the family, espacially for her the youngest, and taht life was hard.

Her early passions for dance and physical exercise were to influence her life profoundly. She was accepted to train at the Bedford College of Physical Education and finished the course as Head Student. She was always immensely proud of this.

She soon became involved with Cecil Sharp and the English Folk Dance and Song Society (EFDSS) and devoted herself to folk music and singing. She collaborated in an album of Playford Dances which became a best seller (and earns me royalties to this day).

Barney, as she was affectionately known to her friends, met Arthur Heffer through their shared interests and especially the Cambridge Morris Men, whom Arthur lead on numerous tours in East Anglia and the Cotswolds between 1925 and 1929, when they married in Cambridge. Their letters bear witness to a deep and passionate romance.

I was born in november 1930. A year later Arthur cotracted influenza and subsequently pneumonia. Antibiotics were then unavailable and he died without modern treatment, in common with many other sufferers. I don't think my mother ever recovered from the tragedy. She moved away from Cambridge and set up house in London with and old and very dear friend (also my godmother), Mary Maurice, who proved herself a wonderfully stabilising influence and a positive 'rock'.

Barney had to work to make ends meet. She used her considerable energy in teaching dance, leading groups and singing. I was sent to an infants' school in Hampstead. There was always music and laughter at home, but I remember my mother looking sad in unguarded moments. She missed her husband and longed for broader horizons. The opportunity came with the offer of a job, to found a branch of the EFDSS in Cape Town. We emigrated to South Africa in 1938, intending to stay a few years. The war intervened and then my education, so that we returned in 1949, after my matriculation. Those ten years were happy. We had paying guests, one of whom became a special friend. My mother could have married but felt that this would be a betrayal of Arthur's memory. We enjoyed some remarkable trips up-country. My mother was invited to sing in johannesburg and her recital was broadcast. I remember that her favourite was the folk song Waly Waly, and the special pathos she conveyed.

Back in England, we returned to Hampstead for some ten years. My mother had many friends and took trouble with them. Again we had paying guests, including a noted musicologist, a journalist and music critic and an engineer. Some old friends had a cottage on the Dorset coast and we came to love this beautiful part of the country. We finally moved to Charminster, near the county toen of Dorchester. My mother made the most of yet another situation and cultivated new friends energetically. Mary was always a great support. As I launched on a musical and teaching career I hope that I brought them both joy. I know that they were both delighted and relieved when I brought my future wife home. Our marriage could not have been happier or the family more united. My wife, Josephine, bears witness to much real friendship and generosity. Barney and Mary saw our eldest sons born. Barney would have been overjoyed to know that our daughter was to come. She would have loved a daughter herself.

Barney was always a force to be reckoned with. Without a husband, she needed to be strong, and she never failed me. She loved greatly and was loved in return. She left a legacy of great happiness.